Well, Super Ball is getting closer and closer. I thought you might enjoy reading some football jokes. Do you have any jokes you’d like to share with other readers here? I hope you received a few smiles or laughs.
A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. His excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field.
He approached the man sitting next to the empty seat and asked if it was taken.
The man replied, “No.”
Amazed the young man asked, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older gentleman responded, “That’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the man said. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man said, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Q: Why are so many Seattle Seahawks players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don’t have to touch the pigskin! (I’m a Seahawk fan. I think this is funny!)
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Steelers fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Steelers fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, ‘Janie, why didn’t you raise your hand?’
Because I’m not a Steelers fan,’ she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, ‘Well, if you are not a Steelers fan, then who are you a fan of?’
‘I am a Ravens fan, and proud of it,’ Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. ‘Janie please tell us why you are a Ravens fan?’
“Because my mom is a Ravens fan, and my dad is Ravens fan, so I’m a Ravens fan too!”
“Well,” said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, ‘that is no reason for you to be a Ravens fan. You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?’
“Then,” Janie smiled, ‘I’d be a Steelers fan.’ (Please don’t hurt the messinger
4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Ravens fan, and a Steelers fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. ‘This is for the Redskins! ‘ he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, ‘This is for the Eagles!’ and throws himself off the mountain.
The Ravens fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, ‘This is for everyone!’ and pushes the Steelers fan off the mountain. (My daughter and son are Pittsburg Steelers fans.)
Football Makes Sense
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin. One team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, Hello-o-o? It’s only 25 cents!” –
By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. “Why are you so late?” his friend asked. “I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game.” “How long could that have taken you?” “Well, I had to toss it 14 times.”
A true college football fan is one who can sit in the front row at the 50 yard line and ask, “What cheerleaders?”
Football Rules from Various Political Structures
SOCIALIST FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes half your points and redistributes them to the opposing team.
COMMUNIST FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes away all your points and gives you back what the Central Bureau of Points designates as appropriate (according to your needs).
FASCIST FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes away all your points and sells them back to you.
NAZI FOOTBALL: After you score, the state takes away all your points and shoots your team.
BUREAUCRATIC FOOTBALL: After you score, a tax of 80% will be imposed on the points. 10% of your points will be given to the scoring disadvantaged, 10% of the points will be given to the opposing team as an incentive “not to score,” while 60% of the points will be used by the state for administration.
CAPITALIST FOOTBALL: The Super Bowl — Winner Take All Top Ways To Improve The World Football League.
Take care. God Bless you all. Remember Jesus saves. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have ever lasting life.”
TAKE the gift-ACCEPT the gift-Jesus died for you and me. CONFESS you sins and REPENT. FIND a church that believe and preaches in the whole Bible.
I’ll submit a blog tomorrow on January 18 on Saturday Bible verses best medicne for the soul and then on Sunday, January 19 my usual blog.