According to Marketdata Enterprises, a market research firm, so far in 2013, Americans have spent over $60 billion to lose weight in one form or another. For some time, I’ve found various commercials amusing which encourage weight loss. Maybe, I’m too old and heard it all to be fooled.
No longer do women have to be married to Mr. Bowling Ball or Mr. Nine Months Pregnant who doesn’t’ have a vagina. Not only have women joined the band wagon, but men joined along with us. Now the whole cotton pickin’ country’s taken a ride. In fact, they had to build a bigger cart.
When I researched on the web, I found over 200 diets each proposing to be the one and only diet to finally at last help you lose the unwanted weight and inches. Now, let me not mislead you, I‘ve tried a lot of them
As a young teenager, my parents, and I went on a grapefruit diet for two weeks. We were not suppose to eat any starches nor any type of sugars. I might have lost ten pounds. I wasn’t what you would call fat, but curvaceous.
I rather enjoyed the fellas ogling my well developed shape. When, tall, sleek, stick people became the fad, I hated what God gave me. I naturally swished and swayed down the street while those skinny females sashayed. Ugggg!!!
There are hundreds of diets endorsed by docs of all kinds. From popular TV host physicians to those I imagine paid for their PhDS and received them in the mail. One of these diets encourages the consumption of baby food.
This is the latest fad diet of the movie stars. Now, I always thought about tasting the food in my kid’s food jars when they were babies, but I never could quite get the spoon into my mouth. Gave me meat, vegetables and fruit to chew.
There’s the Rice Diet, Banana Diet and the Belly Fat Diet. Now, this one I might consider if I was shopping for diets. There is the Personality Type Diet and The Shape Of The Body Diet. You know some women are shaped like pears. Some women are shaped like apples. Maybe the slender women are shaped like bananas. Come to think of it, this is a very prejudice diet. What about the men? I’ve never seen a pear shaped man nor an apple shaped man. There also is a Blood Type Diet. Oh yes, Word War II Rations Diet is another fad diet. Do any of them work? I guess so if you stick with them. However, when we quit, many of us go back to eating like we always did.
For those of us who have to suck our cheeks in and wear one those hidden tags that streeeeetch our facial skin tight to look thin, we tried them all. I became involved with the cabbage soup diet. Loved the diet at first. You eat the soup before you consume your regular lower, caloric meal. It worked until I couldn’t stand the smell of cooked cabbage let alone eat it. Then there were the cookies and candies that were suppose suppress one’s hunger. The idea was to eat these scrumptious tidbits of food before you consumed your meal. The problem with both of these, the dang things tasted too good, and I ate more than I was suppose too.
2. WRAPS AND POTIONS
Wraps help to reduce inches in certain needed areas. For me the problem is like many of us, we would need wraps from head to toe. We’d look like mummies. “Hi honey! I’m hom,” our husbands say coming home while you rush to greet them stiff legged and stiff armed to give him a kiss.
The potion could be something like coconut oil guaranteed to help a person lose inches. Just apply it topically, and voila, you can now fit into the size one dress you kept in the corner of your closet. The jury is still out on this one.
The injection of pregnant woman’s urine. What, you say? Yup, a person injects a stranger’s urine into their system. This claim to thinness existed since the 50’s. In my desperation to lose weight, I began the injections in the 70’s. The diet worked too good. I became slender. A month or so later after injecting this stuff, My husband heard the news, “Honey, I‘m pregnant.” I never thought of it, I could have sold my urine.
The diet plus injections still exists. However, this is rather expensive from $650 to $1000 a month for these injections plus a person must follow a 500 calorie diet which isn’t too healthy. Now, I might consider the injections. However, I’m not sure of the effect of injecting expectant woman’s urine. I became with child once, I don’t want to take a chance with this stuff. Not at 60 plus. Nope, on second thought, you got the wrong gal. I’ll pass on this.
Then there are the magic potion pills we swallow in hopes of becoming a runway model. There are hundreds of these blogs and advertisements on the web. One hears commercials on TV which suggest that you too can lose fifty pounds in six weeks if you stick to a smaller intake of calories and take the prescribed pills. Eat less lose weight. I think this works, but it does sound risky.
Years ago, my doctor recommended to me fen-phen and Fastin. I began taking the medications and lost my weight rapidly. To me, this was great. I didn’t have an appetite. The weight was falling off, and I didn’t even have to exercise. I stopped taking these medications because I suffered a spell. Later I found out people died from taking these prescriptions and many suffered irrevocable damage.
5. LIPOSUCTION AND GYMS
I know I shouldn’t associate liposuction and gyms. I’m talking about joining a gym for a year where monthly payment is automatically taken out of your bank account. A person exercises for a week and stops. In the meanwhile, the monthly payments keep getting drawn out of your account. . This has happened to me more than once. One might think I’m wealthy that I can throw my money away. In fact, my husband and I about four or five months ago joined a gym. We joined because the gym had a pool. Due to illnesses, we haven’t been able to go. So, where is all my money going? It certainly is helping me to get in shape, and I’m getting rounder.
Liposuction is something I haven’t considered. Gee, walk into the doc’s office the shape of a ball and come out looking like a stick person. Not a bad deal. Do they do face lifts too? My goodness my husband wouldn’t recognize me.
All kidding aside, the safest way according to most professionals is to follow, with a doctor’s consent, 1000 to 1200 calorie diet and exercise. You know the routine. Avoid consuming simple sugars like white sugar and lower ones intake of starches. It works if you work it. Then one needs to commit to a life style change one day at a time. Size three here I come!