In my novel, “The Journey,” soon to be published in about three months, the protagonist, Francisca faces abuse as a child and as a married, young woman. The antagonist, an abuser, Jake Angelotti, also as a child observes abuse of his mother and as well of himself.
I became interested to understand abuse since I like my fictional character faced child abuse as well as I chose to marry a violent man. For me, I needed to understand why these people in my life were absers. In my understanding and through Jesus, I found peace and genuinely prayed for those who hurt me. With praying came a healing and forgiveness.
Abuse can be genetic. There are a few theories as to why abuse committed by him or her are not trouble by their actions. As far as I know, unless corrected, there isn’t any true scientific facts.
Abuse can be part of a cycle. . A child observes in his natural family abuse and considers this as normal despite the information in our news media and literature on abuse. Denial is deep. In my novel, the Antagonist observed his Pa abusing his mother and himself. He became enraged while he watched the actions of his Pa. Little did he realize when he grew up, he’d became the exact replica of his Pa.
Abuse can be the enjoyment of power. It gives the offender a “false sense of strength.” (Wikipedia) They have welled up anger inside and take it on the weaker partner. In my story I wrote, repeatedly, Francisca, is beat as a child. Some of her beatings are as inconsequential such as her not having her barrettes facing the right direction. The reader observes Jake acting like his father in his and Francisca’s relationship.
Abuse can be because the person is evil. The abuser may not possess any social conscience over his actions. In my story, Jake rationalizes the reason why he beat on Francisca. The, “If only.”
Some of the other contributing factors to abuse are use of drugs or alcohol, anger issues, stress and improper moral values.
To understand the reason why the abuser hurts his victims helps. But for me, I needed to take ownership of my negative feelings such as hate and a lack of forgiveness. Prayer and God helped me to heal. When I called my abuser and ask for them to please forgive me for my anger I held against them, a new Sharon began to occur. God takes the tangled and convoluted relationships and makes it right.
Am I angry at God for the abuse in my life? No. I live in a fallen world where evil exists. Why did it have to be me? There are thousands upon thousands of abused people including the abusers who stand with me.
My prayer for you is, if you have been abused and not forgiven your abuser, go to someone -a minister or clergy of your faith and discuss this with them. You can ask the Lord to forgive you for your anger and hate, and He will prepare the path to freedom.
The next blog is going to occur on Tuesday, the 3rd of September, my birthday. Until then, I hope you all have a wonderful labor day and please enjoy your family, love ones and friends.