Today, I heard on TV, 66% of the men in this country expect for their first dates to pay for the meal when they go out to dinner. My mouth flew open. I couldn’t believe this survey. The MC continued. These guys also stated if their dates didn’t pay for the food, than this was the last time they’d date these women.

This occupied my mind all day long. Removed my serenity. Gave me tears.

If this is the case, I believe a funeral is in store. A long, black casket is needed, pulled by four horses. On the coffin, a banner needs to fly saying, “Chivalry is dead.” The sound of the horses’ hooves clop, striking the pavement while women mourners weep and groan, dressed in black. They hold handkerchiefs to their eyes to wipe away their tears and follow the casket. Bystanders composed of young and old men stand on the side booing and shouting obsenities. Behind this group, a set of trumpet, tuba and horn musicians play Chopin Handel’s “Death March.”

DOWN THROUGH THE AGES, writers such as Anna Seton or the recent Philippa Gregory took us to the time when knights in shining armor romanced the ladies of the English court.

Fast forward the years to the romantic actor, Clark Gabel. His tip of the hat towards a starlet on the screen would make the women viewing the movie want to swoon and cry, “Awww, if only—”

Maybe the problem is WOMEN AREN’T LADIES ANY MORE. Did we not demand equal rights? We demanded equal pay and got it. I didn’t burn my bra. For me, gravity’s taken affect. No wearing a t-shirt without a bra and letting my boobs hang down to my waist for this gal. No. No! No!.

SOME WOMEN want equal rights in the front. I can’t imagine pulling down my pants and urinating in front of many pairs of male eyes popping out as they salivate during a battle. Then, sweetly asking as bullets are flying, man are groaning and yelling from injuries, “Does anyone have some toilet paper? I need to wipe myself. Now, I need to wash my hands.” Forget that, I probably would pee my pants!

WALKED on the side of the street, so ladies could avoid being splashed by mud puddles.

OPENED building doors for females.

RAN around the car to open the door for a gal waiting. I must admit as a young gal, I felt funny waiting for my date to break his neck to reach the car door to enable me to step outside. A Volkswagen was okay, but Dad‘s Oldsmobile was long and sleek.

OPENED the umbrella bit. While a guy opened the umbrella and held it out for me, rain dripped down his face soaking him. On second thought, I could open my own umbrella, and he could open his. This way I didn’t have to feel guilty if he got pneumonia.

SLIDE the chair OUT for me at the table when I sit down to dine. My father pulled the chair and scooted it in when we went out to ear for my mother, and my brother did the same for me.

CARRIED MY BOOKS As a student in high school, many of my boyfriends used to carry my books from class to class.


My husband still, when we are out, opens all doors for me if it’s possibly feasible. Yup, gals after almost 38 years. Eat your heart out.

HE comes to my rescue when I can’t open a jar.

HE gets my fast food drink or meal.

HE opens the umbrella for me, so I don’t get wet. Yes, he does get slightly soaked.

OH YES, I almost forgot, HE squashes the bugs when I’m afraid of them.

IN RETROSPECT, when I dated a guy as a teenager. I lived alone and the places my dates took me to had packets of sugar in bins at the table. While he paid, I dumped the bags of sugar in my purse. No, I didn’t consider it stealing. I thought it was compliments of the restaurant. I needed the sugar for my cold cereal in the morning. I suppose, if the thought crossed my boyfriend’s mind for me to pay, he realized, we both be headed off to jail for none payment of a bill.

I wonder if the reason why chivalry is dead lies in the fact that WE parents were or are too busy putting the meat and the potatoes on the table? Maybe, some of us are TOO busy texting and playing on the computer. TOO, busy worrying about the events of the world to teach our sons manners? What do you think?

I don’t know about you, but my tired, aching feet and back appreciate it when a male gets up with a little smile and offers me a seat. “Thank you, sonny.” I remember the day when men were men and weren’t afraid of being gentlemen. On the other hand, maybe there are still knights in shining armor around.

Give me your thoughts on chivalry. I’m interested to know whether you have paid for your boyfriend‘s meal when you went out to eat. What happened when he expected it, and you were forced into paying the ticket? Did you continue to date him?


5 thoughts on “CHIVALRY IS DEAD OR IS IT?

  1. First of all….Women’s Lib went too far ! We did not have to become “butch” to get equal pay ! How about doing a GOOD JOB ! So, WAIT to have the door opened, to have the chair positioned, smile and speak to him with respect. Make eye contact, try being honestly Feminine. Thank him when he is thoughtful., Maybe, just MAYBE…you will be shown some manners, chivalry, respect. Chivalry is like respect….demand it comfortably…the way a woman carries herself has a lot to do with how she is treated. Her dress, her demeanor, her genuine personality, facial expressions speak a thousand words. Men are just like anyone else, they respond to appreciation, recognition and like to “feel” that they exude leadership. They like to be “listened to” not “talked at”. Ask don’t demand. I’ll tell you what happened to the Chivalrous male….they were STOMPED on…..women changed things for women.(and men as well). Exposing your body to all types of media around the world is NOT sexy. It’s what you DON’T show that counts, the illusion of guessing, anticipation and the hint of what could come. Do comfort things for your man, do it lovingly…bring him his tea, his slippers, find the remote for him, make his favorite breakfast, fix his coffee…follow each gesture with a little kiss or a pat. He’ll feel loved and he will start to return gestures. We ALL need to feel APPRECIATED….work at it! It only takes a few minutes in 24 hour day….and you may be surprised with the rewards and your own satisfaction when you are GOOD to someone else. Even the LORD’s good book says’ it is better to live in a corner attic, than to be with a nagging, demanding woman’ ! Same goes for a man !!……Show a little love and respect will follow…..maybe CHIVALRY,

    • Well, once again my friend, you are packed with wisdomw. I couldn’t have said it any better myself. I love you and thank you for commenting on my blog. You help to keep me determined to blog.

      Take care. I love you.

    • Hi Barbara!
      I wanted to comment further than I did yesterday. Chivalry was taught within the family unit.
      Just as writing letters, cursive and the old IBM Selective, chilvary is a thing of the past.

      For the most part the oldder generation males do honor women . I believe for them it is like putting on their shoes in the morning. It is ingrained.

      As far as bringing your boyfriend, significan other or husband tea or his slippers, there are not too many Mrs. Cleavers any more. They both are busy bringing home the bacon so to speak. I remember after working four days of sixteen grueling hours as a nurse, Jose use to rub my feet because they ached so much. The most I could do for a couple of days was give him a kiss, tell him I loved him, and cook his meal. The reason was because I was too busy cleaning the house, washing the clothes and hanging out with my children that I hadn’t seen for four days.

      In our relationship, it is a mutual exchange system. He honors me and I try to do the same.

      I will say this. I’m glad I don’t have to date anymore. Probably, those guys who would expect me to pay for their meal are Mama’s boys, and not worth my time or trouble to get to kmow them. As one of woman replied , “,,,’she’d kick him to the curb if she was expected to pay on the first date.” I think these are my exact sentiments.

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